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This article is an attempt to shed some light on a topic I discuss frequently with ladies.
The question I get asked a lot is "Why men do not ask me to dance?". The answer revolves
around PDI or DAP.
What is PDI (Positive Dance Image) or DAP (Dance Approachability Projection) ?
PDI is an acronym coined by a friend of mine (his name is Kurt). I asked him if I could
use this to share with you. According to him Positive Dance Image (PDI) is your projection
of your willingness to dance. In essence it is your Dance Approachability Projection or
DAP.
Look at the picture above. Is that your projection when you are at a dance club? I doubt it
if you will be asked to dance if that is the attitude you are projecting (PDI or DAP).
Perception plays a big role here. Not your perception of how you look BUT HOW OTHERS
PERCEIVE YOU.
According to Kurt "The concept of PDI is to show others you are indeed a person who
likes to dance and is approachable." There is some validity to this. Looking from a man's
point of view, it is less scary to approach a lady that has PDI (Positive Dance Image) than
one that has a grouchy look on her face. If a lady has good DAP (Dance Approachability
Projection) she will be dancing a lot more compaired to one that stands behind the scene
and pouts or frowns.
We can learn from nature about PDI or DAP. Remember it is about perception and
projection. When male birds are trying to attract a female they show their best pose and
show their colors. They want to be PERCEIVED as the best as they PROJECT their colors
and poses.
I would like to bring out this point to help the ladies understand one reason why guys do
not approach ladies with no PDI or bad DAP. Men (in general) do not handle rejection
well. So to avoid that feeling of rejection, guys will generally AVOID women that are
PERCEIVED as unapproachable. The fear of rejection is real. It does take a lot of guts for a
man to ask a lady to dance.
So ladies, here are a few tips to help you to get men (and/or more men) to ask you to
dance (REMEMBER: Projection & Perception):
SMILE = This doesn't mean you must smile EVERY second. Look at people and smile
every so often. PROJECT a friendly aura. When guys see you smiling, he will not be afraid
to approach you.
DO NOT STAND WITH ARMS CROSSED = This is a sure sign that you are not interested in
dancing at all. Combine this with a frown and you will not be approached.
MOVE TO THE BEAT = Do this while you are positioned by the dance floor area or even
when talking to your friends. Guys will notice this and you will be approached.
APPEAR TO BE HAVING FUN = This should be a given. If you appear to be having fun, men
will ask you to dance. There is no doubt here.
STAND NEAR THE DANCE FLOOR = Do not hide away in the back. Men look for people to
dance with. Present yourself. Follow the suggestions above while standing near the
dance floor.
GRAB A FRIEND TO DANCE WITH = This works well for both men and women specially if
you are new to the club. Of course you cannot do this if you go alone. The concept is to
PRESENT yourself. You like to dance. Dance a few songs (2-3) with your friend and while
dancing SHOW YOU ARE ENJOYING THE DANCE AND HAVING FUN. (Perception &
Projection)
GO ASK A MAN TO DANCE = This is hard for some ladies to do BUT if you do this a few
times (2-3) that same night other men will see that you just want to dance and you will be
asked more. It is all about the dance and nothing more.
AT ALL COST AVOID LOOKING GROUCHY, MEAN OR UNFRIENDLY = If you want to stand
at the club all night long, just look unfriendly (frowning is not good). You will not get
approached.
IF YOU ARE NOT UP FOR DANCING, STAY HOME! = I know this sounds very dramatic but
it makes sense. If you go to the club and are not really into it, do not complain you didn't
get asked to dance. Stay home, regroup, then go out the next time. Get your grove back.
SHOW CONFIDENCE = There is nothing more attractive than showing your are confident
in yourself. It doesn't matter if you are a beginner or a professional. Show you are
confident in yourself and all you want to do is DANCE! This is a MAJOR signal in my
opinion.
These simple suggestions will go a long way. It is all about YOUR PROJECTION and HOW
YOU ARE PERCEIVED.
Good luck out there and have FUN! I hope to see you at a nearby dance floor!
KEEP LEARNING, KEEP DANCING, KEEP SPREADING THE LOVE FOR SALSA!